The violin case is empty with a trail of rosin leading to the door.

It’s really disheartening to think about the inadequacy that is ourselves every daunting day of our somewhat meaningless existence. I mean really, when you think about the grand scheme of this universe, the intricacies of the double-stranded dance of DNA, and the cruelty of life that spans from the Serengeti Desert to the metropolis of New York, no one seems to care.
Believe me when I say that the average person simply does not care.
The average person doesn’t take a single moment to appreciate the sky, the grass, the birds, the shoes they walk upon.
The people they walk upon.

In the last several weeks, I’ve been walked upon. Several times.
No, more than several times. I’ve reached out in so many directions and to so many people and I’ve been stomped on every time.
Let it be said that silence is more cruel and more deafening than any words could ever be.
Busy? Yep, everyone is. I’m working 15 hours a week, setting up an internship, I’m married, I’m taking a dead language and upper level writing courses, applying to graduate school, taking two difficult instrumental lessons, working on a senior project, editing several PR projects for my department as well as the college as a whole, mentoring high school kids AND I STILL RESPOND TO EVERYONE.
Busyness is an excuse to remove yourself from the pain of life.
But it will always find you. Always.

This is what I don’t understand – if you’re going to ignore me, make it known to my face.
I suppose I should be intelligent enough to understand the fact that you don’t have time for me, but let’s suppose I’m stupid and need someone or something to indicate to me that I’m no longer an interest in your life.
If that’s the case, so be it. It’s your decision, not mine.

I’m exhausted from trying to keep friendships from dying but it seems as though I’m dancing to a song that’s been forgotten and misplaced.

Fine.

Shoot Odysseus’ dog because he’s tired of waiting at the gate for you.

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~ by Zechariah on February 6, 2009.

2 Responses to “The violin case is empty with a trail of rosin leading to the door.”

  1. very good post… much more deep than my blog about me wanting to shave

  2. I’m not sure why you told me to read this Zach. I hope you’ve been alright man, although it doesn’t sound like it. I’d say to hit me up some time, but I wouldn’t want you to feel worse on the chance that I couldn’t answer when you did. Anyway, keep your head up man, focus on the people that are really important to you, not necessarily the ones that used to be, or you think should be. Live in the now, as they say, and focus your energy, time, focus, everything…where it will be most productive. BTW I’m sure that place isn’t on the internet, electronically penning a message meant for people who it already sounds like even if they do read it, won’t respond and give you the satisfaction of knowing they read it. Buck up buddy, be a good man, tell Larissa hi, and God Bless. Tim

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