The Main Stage calleth not to me.

Mediocrity likes to throw punches incessantly. You can wake up one morning feeling like you’re the luckiest person, the most talented in your field, but the very next morning, you’re lucky if you want to get up and face the day.
I hate that. I hate the fact that I can’t feel as though I’m consistent with my talents and abilities.
I’m praised, yet I never see it.

I’ve tried. Many times over. But I still look at my contemporaries, the persons of legend and lore, and even my friends and wonder, “They’re such incredible people.” And maybe that’s good.
Maybe it’s fortunate I feel like primordial ooze in comparison to most people. Keeps me humble.
What I worry is that my “humble state” will inhibit my capability and creativity.
If I’m not spurred on by something, especially by my own confidence, then I have little faith of my future endeavors.

Oddly, though, I’m not in a low place. I’m not terribly discouraged while knowing that I’m a moderately gifted person.
I just don’t feel like I’m worth the time of day in some instances.

Yet I do know that the Main Stage doesn’t call to me. I will forever be playing on a side stage.
…I think I’m fine with that.


~ by Zechariah on February 7, 2009.

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